If I had a nickel for every five pennies I’ve earned, I’d have the same amount of money… it just wouldn’t weigh as much.
In the sixties, we may have been the only Findlays living in Canada, but we weren’t the only Tompsons. My mother’s Uncle Harry lived near Toronto, a two hour drive west. Along with his older brother Jack and his mother Kate, Harry had immigrated to Canada in the years between the world wars. He was a short quiet man with an infectious though infrequent laugh. In his late forties, his hair grayed around his temples. Harry smelled of dark leathery Cavendish tobacco, a scent warm and comfortable and as part of him as the dark briar pipe perched constantly at the edge of his mouth.
Harry’s hands and arms were calico from some mysterious childhood scalding. In his twenties he had gone off to war in Europe and spent two years in a German POW camp, though he never talked of it.
“You be polite and don’t ask a lot of silly questions.” my parents warned us. And though I managed to stifle my curiosity, I could not resist the temptation to run my hands along his mottled skin. The bleached white hairless patches on his hands and arms gave him the impression of a pencil portrait half drawn. A black and white composition partially erased. Harry was different, interesting, kind but guarded, a man full of histories we were forbidden to uncover.
In addition to his home in Toronto, Harry and Jack owned a cottage a few hours to the north, near the town of Barrie on Lake Simcoe. On at least two occasions we vacationed there during the summer with Harry, Jack and sometimes Kate joining us on the weekends. The place wasn’t actually on the lake shore, but a short walk down a hedge lined gravel road would find us on the pebbled beach of one of the largest lakes in southern Ontario. The cottage is one of my favorite summer memories, safe and secluded and appointed with old and quirky furnishings.
Water in the kitchen was drawn by a hand pump over the sink. In the bathroom, the water tank hung on the wall above the toilet and was flushed by pulling on a wooden handled chain. Outside the bathroom door, secured to the wall, a cartoon plaque with a rotating arrow could be pointed to a description of the activity of the occupant. Takin’ a nap, soaking the laundry, sitting and thinking, were but a few of the humorous possibilities. On a side table in the living room stood a party-line candle-stick telephone that rang in patterned staccato to indicate to which party the call belonged. But for me, the most fascinating feature of Harry’s cottage was a 1930’s floor model RCA Victor dial-tube radio. It was a thing of beauty.
Harry found humor in my fascination. The radio stood nearly four feet tall, towering over me as I knelt before it, inspecting its knobs, buttons and toggles. I admiringly ran my fingers along the ornate carving of the wooden panels. The handcrafted oak encasing the mysterious internal electronics shone with the well-polished pride of a prized possession. Harry had kept it in perfect condition. His amusement and pleasure were evident as I asked with excitement if I could turn it on.
“Sure, give her a go.” He said.
My hand grasped the large brown knob on the face of the radio and turned. It offered surprising resistance. I applied more pressure. Was I turning it the right way? And then…Click! But there was nothing. Silence!
Instinctively I crawled around the base to make sure the device it was plugged into the wall socket. Yes, all was in order. I looked to Harry, afraid perhaps I had done something wrong, or God forbid, broken the electronic wonder. But Harry just stood there, looking down at me, bemused.
I looked to the dial face. A warm yellow-white light dawned in the numbered glass. A slight hum emanated from within the frame accompanied by the low familiar “shhhh” of the white noise between radio frequencies. Harry’s expression warmed, matching the glow of the vacuum tubes slowly coaxing the old radio to life.
“There she goes. She’s getting a bit long in the tooth now,” he added. Bending down slightly he pointed with his milky white finger. “That’s the tuner.”
The tuning knob felt large and cumbersome in my small hand but turned with surprising ease and fluidity. The red transit line passed across the numbers on the display face. Fractional, static smeared snippets of popular songs, commercials, and news, crackled from a large speaker concealed behind brown fabric and slotted wood.
I was thrilled, yet unexpectedly disappointed. My unsophisticated brain had imagined the old radio would play only old broadcasts, “The Shadow” or “Little Orphan Annie”. Or perhaps the music would be same as the 78 records we had played on my grandmother’s old wind up Gramophone. Song’s like Gene Austin’s “Love letters in the Sand” or Al Jolson’s “Sonny Boy”. It was strange, a warp in the fabric of time, like watching Bing Crosby sing The Rolling Stones.
At the summer cottage, my brothers and I would fill our days swimming in the lake or playing croquet in the yard. Some days were taken up with marathon monopoly sessions, making up our own special rules, building and going bankrupt around the kitchen table. Mother would make us lunch of cucumber sandwiches, potato chips and pickles eaten outside at the picnic table or sitting with our Kool-Aid balanced on the arms of the brightly painted Adirondack Chairs.
In the evenings we played crazy eights or other card games. But many nights I would just lie on the rug-covered hardwood floor listening to the music playing low on the old radio. My parent’s and uncles sitting around me, their laughter and voices murmuring, I was surrounded by the furnishings of an old movie and accompanied by the soundtrack of the sixties. I would listen until the music and the voices faded and I would fall asleep and dream radio dreams of The Lone Ranger and Superman.
Often, a Sunday morning will find my wife and me going out for breakfast. We have a few places we favor and occasionally we choose the retro store with the restaurant attached, Cracker Barrel. Without fail, the place is packed.
This morning was no different. At least 40 people were playing checkers and sitting in rocking chairs ahead of us, a twenty minute wait the greeter informed us. And sure enough, before our demeanor slipped into “hangry”, we were at a table with a menu, a cup of coffee, and a glass of tea.
So how do they do it? I mean there’s only a couple of ways you can order an egg for breakfast. You fry them, scramble them, or fold them into an omelet. Yet, every weekend there’s a line out the door of breakfast junkies looking to get their Old Timer fix. I just don’t get it.
Sure, there’s the allure of shopping for everything your Granma ever wanted, but is that enough to explain it? I don’t think so. There’s got to be something else. And then it occurred to me. It came to me like a side of grits with biscuits and saw-mill gravy. There’s something in the eggs. Let’s break it down.
CRACKer Barrel. Huh? Yeah? You feel it? Makes sense now, right? You can’t see it, smell it, or even taste it, but it’s gotta be in there, Crack! I’m surprised they haven’t been caught out on the street corner offering the first egg for free… or haven’t they? I’ve never been in the kitchen, but I wouldn’t be amazed to discover the eggs over-easy being handed to the server through a slot in a heavy steel door. I mean if they aren’t all jacked up on something, how do you explain how they churn tables like a Ford assembly line? I had to prove this theory.
So I snuck out a portion of scrambled eggs in a napkin, and made my way through the parking lot full of cars and Fedora’d chickens in pale gray trench-coats, to a small pharmacy run by a guy I know. In a matter of hours I had the answer, Omega 3’s, my friend. Omega 3’s! That’s right! Alpha – Omega! The beginning and the end! It was crystal clear to me and I looked at my wife, who had faithfully remained by my side, and recognized the knowing look in her eyes.
I looked at her. She looked at me. And she spoke the words we had both suspected.
“Hey, perhaps twelve cups of coffee is not such a good thing for you!”
My dog, a lab, is mostly manic
With only occasional bouts of panic
At thunderstorms and fireworks
Set off at night by thoughtless jerks.
By nature she is always happy
And even when I’m feeling crappy,
At the door, my ass a draggin’
She greets me with her tail a waggin’.
She seems to find no imposition,
My sometimes surly disposition
And meets me still with love and gratitude,
Despite my curt and sour attitude.
Those times when I’m not glad to be me,
She is never sad to see me
Reminding me when this occurs,
To be less like me, and more like her.